Sunday, 23 March 2014

OFF THE STARTING BLOCKS!!

We've all heard the expression "God gives, and God takes away".  God gave me the most amazing, strong, brave, loving, and inspirational mother that a girl could ask for.  Sadly, we've come to learn that soon He will take her away. 

My mum has survived 3 cancers, the third of which was also diagnosed as terminal, but we were granted a miracle.  Sadly our miracle wasn't to last long, and we are now facing her 4th and final battle.  This week went from being beautifully normal, to heart-wrenchingly awful.  I am trying (and at the moment failing) to come to terms with the knowledge that in the not too distant future, Mum won't be at the end of the phone to answer all my questions, celebrate my victories, or comfort me as I cry over life's hurdles.  No-one is supposed to know when their time is up, and my family is living the horror of why.  Just days ago I took down my birthday cards from the mantle piece, and as I took down the one from my parents, I broke once again upon the realisation that that was the last one I'd ever get with my mum's writing in.  Even with all of these small, and painful jabs at what life is about to become, nothing compares to what my parents are going through; I wish them all the peace and comfort there is to offer.

I am hoping that this blog will serve a couple of purposes:
  1. Help me come to terms with the news
  2. Serve as a personal journal to my son & daughter should they ever have to deal with this, and
  3. Perhaps help someone else in a similar situation realise that their feelings are normal.
I should say that I've often wondered about starting a blog, not only for my personal life (which let's face it, is normally blissfully normal), but also to write about my experiences as a mother and a preschool teacher.  Believe me, I hear all sorts and some of them are amazingly funny and thought-provoking, whilst others are just plain gross!

Throughout Mum's final months (she has been told 3-6), she is also keeping a blog called Jane's Journey where she will write regular updates.  I am sure that I will be writing a mixture of posts over the coming months, but I hope that at least some of it will be of interest.  If nothing else, these pages will serve as a digital journal!

God Bless,
Nic