D-Day!

D-Day today, or F-Day if you want to call it flight day!  I'm feeling sick to my stomach and I'm wondering how I can get one foot in front of the other to get on that plane!  I'm armed with Ativan...14 tablets courtesy of my doctor, so I'm sure everything will work out.  I figure that I don't need them for the Edmonton-Calgary flight, but I will certainly need them for the Calgary-London flight...afterall the plane goes over water, so when it goes down in the ocean, I want to be asleep!!!  Coming home will be much easier I think - I know what's waiting for me this end - my family and my kids who will be jumping up and down to see me (the kids...not so much Kirk! ha ha).  I land just after midnight on my return, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I may be seeing them before they wake in the morning!  My little guy is already counting the sleeps until I'm home again.

Life is still "normal" for now.  I've built a shell around me that every once in a while starts to crack, so I simply patch it up and carry on going.  One day I'm sure that shell will shatter and I'll be back to the drawing board, but for now it's working.  I talk about Mum with little to no emotion, and everything feels like it's not happening still.  I am petrified that when I see them, everything will fall apart which is another reason for my apprehension.  Time will tell how it all goes, but it's in God's hands, and I have to keep sight of the fact that HE has gone before me and has already walked the same path.

You may be hearing from me more than one over the next 12 hours as I make my way across the Atlantic...I apologise in advance!  One thing this trip has given me is the utmost respect for nervous flyers...seriously people, how DO you do it every time without ending up in a padded room?????