I Just Need Time...

Well I didn't post yesterday because quite frankly the thought of visiting my "feelings" again made me sick...I needed some time.  Yesterday marked a full week from the time everything happened; in one sense it feels like a lifetime, and yet on the other hand that's one week gone of the rest of Mum's life, so that went too fast.  Way too fast!

Today I'm numb, I've simply had enough and my heart isn't in anything.  I am terrified of flying alone next week (I've always loved flying) and life is a lot of effort.  Like my mum posted yesterday, molehills are mountains right now and EVERYTHING is bothering me.  If I had a dollar for every person who said "but that's okay because in the grand scheme of things, that's minor", I'd be a much wealthier person!!  You would certainly think that would be the case, but it isn't.  I have my final coming up for one of my university courses, and I am sitting it early as I will be in England when it's scheduled.  This now means that I am sitting it (tomorrow) 2 weeks early, and before the content has even been covered in the class!  So what am I doing when I should be studying?  Writing this!  Mum always joked that procrastination was my middle name...got to live up to it. 

By the way, apparently there is an upside to having this sort of news...the new weight loss plan!  I have lost 6lbs in as many days.  I would be happy if I wasn't sure that it's all hiding somewhere ready to make its re-acquantance once this is over! 

Right, I'm going to make a cup of tea and force myself to do something that could be classed as studying so I don't completely cave tomorrow in a  bundle of nerves.  Happy pills down the hatch, so putting one foot in front of the other...