Continuing with my recent journey, my son was diagnosed with OCD last June, and has regular therapy sessions to help him learn what behaviours are within the realm of "normal". He has come such a long way in a relatively short space of time, and I am so proud my heart swells. One of his symptoms is hoarding. This had all but disappeared until recently! At therapy this week I was explaining that it was back, but I couldn't really track down when it started again. Well my son is exceptionally bright and has an impeccable memory, so he correctly pointed out that it was around the time I went to England! (It was one of those - "oh yeah, that's right" moments) I can be forgiven for not remembering anything at that time in my life!!! Continuing with a careful line of questioning, it emerged that he was worried about me. My heart started to sink, but as his therapist drew a number line from 0 -10 on the whiteboard and asked how worried he was about me, and he circled 9, it hit rock bottom! He proceeded to circle 10 when asked about Grandma. I started to cry - you are supposed to worry for and about your children, not the other way around. How had I let my actions/feelings/whatever get so out of hand that it started to affect my 5 year old? I thought that I had contained everything so well, but I guess children are exceptionally perceptive, and my little guy was also beginning to crack. I have been told to leave his "piles" alone until we return from seeing my mum. He is feeling insecure, something major is going on in his world, and the OCD is going to get worse whilst it's happening. I've always known that has a sensitive side when it comes to me, but this broke my heart...it's now my goal to be that much stronger for him so he doesn't need to worry.
P.S. Mum got my Mother's Day card and she was reduced to tears - doesn't take much these days, but I'm glad it touched her.
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